I'd been feeling it for a while. Things just weren't the same. Last night confirmed it. Gone was the shy, lovable man I'd grown to know and love and in his place was a man who I did not recognize. He was loud and ridiculous and acting like a MOVIE STAR ... which most definitely is NOT the Viggo I know AT ALL. He was flirting with every woman in the room and not paying nearly enough attention to ME. And the attention he did pay me was insincere and pretentious. He was playing with me. Toying with me. Giving me encouragement but then leaving me hanging. This was definitely not the man I knew. The man I knew would never play with my feelings. Something had changed.
Now I have to admit that just looking at his picture makes me want to rethink my decision; doubt what I witnessed; and deny what I felt. BUT ... the ether doesn't lie and Viggo has changed. Maybe it's HER. I don't know. But we all know we haven't seen hide nor hair of him lately and all the movies he's made have been out of Spain or Argentina or Greece. He does have one on the horizon for sometime next year, but feeling the way I do I am not nearly as excited as I would have been a year ago. I guess it was meant to happen. I mean, how long can a girl wait?! I thought that he'd get over his ridiculous infatuation ... but maybe he's really found true love. All I know is that what happened between he and I in the ether WAS REAL. And had it not been for HER he'd be with ME right now. He knows it. I know it. He can lie to himself all he wants.
Never while we were in the ether did he ever utter a word he did not mean. Never did he play with my emotions. But when he learned that I had the power to lure him there, that his visits were not always of his own volition ... well, maybe he felt manipulated. But you all know I didn't do it on purpose! I had no idea my wishes were so powerful! It was a complete surprise to me too! When I realized that I had been manipulating the ether all along I worried about coming clean. Would he forgive me? Would he understand? And consider this ... was he manifesting into the ether because he WANTED TO or because I WISHED him there? You do you see my dilemma don't you? I naturally began to question his love for me. Either he was coming to the ether because he wished it as well, or it was because I was manipulating it. It was all so strange. What is real? What is false? What I can tell you is that those were the most magical moments of my life. And I think it's safe to say, they were magical for him as well.
The passage of time can kill a love ... even one as magical as ours. Reality intruded into what was a beautiful dream and now the dream has ended. I am awake and the ether is no more. You can stay in Spain Viggo. You can continue your little love affair with HER. But remember ... I STILL have the power and I can summon you any time I like. I'll leave you be for now ... and though it may seem like it's over, it isn't. Not by a long shot. Not until I SAY IT IS.