Alicia Vikander. I don't know what to say about this. It reminds me an earth toned apartment cir. 1970. Blocks and squares in browns blacks. She looks beautiful but this dress does nothing for me. For such a young beauty someone should have advised her better. Grade: C-
Amy Pohler. Boring, boring, boring. Gown ... boring, hair, boring, makeup boring. No jewelry or bling for an overall look of BORING. Grade: F-
Anna Faris. Mhmmm ... this looks like a 1950s dressing gown. I've never been a fan of this type of collar. The dress needs to be pressed and is ill fitting. The sleeves have a cuff and the shoes are all wrong. Grade: D-
Brie Larson. This photo does not do the dress justice. It looks wrinkled at the lap but on camera it was beautiful. She has a great body although when she walked that slit almost gave everyone a glimpse of her lady parts. Also, she could have gone with better shoe. Her make up was flawless and I thought she looked quite beautiful. Grade: A
I LOVE CAROL BURNETT!!! The funniest woman EVER! AND SMART. That is the way to go ... SLIPPERS ON THE RED CARPET. That would be me. Gorgeous AND comfortable. Grade: A ... cause she's a comic genius.
Christina Hendricks. This dress is a catastrophe. What is that limp thing on her shoulder? A wilted bow? A flap of a cape? And there's another piece of fabric that looks as if it started out as a bow and ended up as a train. All this in a wrinkly, brocade champagne fabric. I know vintage is a popular way to go but this looks ratty and old. I'm going to give her a C+ and the plus is only because her hair and makeup are gorgeous. And that bag???? Ugh.
Christina Ricci. This dress looks like a nightgown. An UGLY nightgown. Pink lace with black piping and pleats. PLEATS. PLEATS! Grade: F-
Claire Danes. I guess she looks pretty in a boring, plain, unexciting BIG YAWN kind of way. Her husband is super cute though. Grade: C for AVERAGE.
Gaby Hoffmann. OK - an interesting bit of trivia for you. I used to work with her uncle years ago. He is an attorney, and his sister (Gaby's mother) is Viva, Andy Warhol's muse from back in the Factory Days. Gaby needs a make-over. First, she seriously needs to pluck those caterpillars over her eyes. She has an interesting face but she needs to DO SOMETHING with it. And that hair! Definitely in need of some layers. And Gaby ... what's with the shoes? Green suede? Grade: F
Giuliana Rancic the Human Toothpick. I can see she's going for a 1950's Audrey Hepburn look. I guess she succeeds but she is DEFINITELY NO AUDREY HEPBURN ... not with that doe-eyed, big toothed anorexic looking face. Grade: F-
Helen Mirren ... WOW!!! What a woman! Fabulous! Love the hair, love the jewels, love the gown, LOVE THE ENTIRE LOOK. Grade: A+ WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!
GREAT SCOT!! What the hell is this?! It looks like she threw on material that had just been cut from a pattern and then she wore it unfinished and inside out! TO AN AWARD SHOW! It also makes her look very thick in the middle. Grade: F-
Lori Petty. EYES ROLLING ok ok, you're trendy and cutting edge and you look like you're wearing a parachute. The hair is terrible, the makeup is terrible and the glasse are terrible. The overall look .... TERRIBLE. Grade: F-- DOUBLE MINUS
Rachel McAdams, OMG I love this gal. Beautiful face, beautiful hair, beautiful gown for an overall look of BEAUTIFUL. Grade: A+++ WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!
I LOVE JULIANNE MOORE! This woman is FIFTY-FIVE!!! SHE'S INCREDIBLE! Love her hair/makeup and the dress. The color is fabulous on her, but unfortunately, it does add a little weight to her midsection. Other than that, Grade: A+
Kayley Cuoco. Great dress. It looks fantastic on her body and I love a black gown, but her bun looks a little lopsided and she could have blinged it up a bit with some pretty earrings instead of those little black studs. Grade: B
The Rooney Sisters looking like Children of the Corn ... creepy.
Gotta say, Queen Latifah is looking mighty elegant. I find this look really nice on her. Her makeup is flawless, hair and jewels, perfection. Grade: A+
This gal looks like a purdy little kitty cat with a BIG OLD BOW tied at the neck. MEOW .... Grade: F-
Viola Davis. AMAZING actress! This color looks beautiful on her although I'm not feeling the gown. Grade: C-
And last, but not least, Susan Sarandon. Hon, yes, you once had a great pair of jugs but now it's time to cover those babies up. You're pushing 70 Susan. This is not sexy, it's Rude. Grade: D
NEXT TIME WE MEET ... THE ACADEMY AWARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!