Sunday, January 25, 2015


So guess who came to see me in the ether last night?  Viggo.  I think you all might have noticed that I haven't had too much to say about my boyfriend for quite some time and that's because he isn't my boyfriend anymore.  This last visit was the clincher.

I'd been feeling it for a while.  Things just weren't the same.  Last night confirmed it.  Gone was the shy, lovable man I'd grown to know and love and in his place was a man who I did not recognize.  He was loud and ridiculous and acting like a MOVIE STAR ... which most definitely is NOT the Viggo I know AT ALL.  He was flirting with every woman in the room and not paying nearly enough attention to ME.  And the attention he did pay me was insincere and pretentious.  He was playing with me.  Toying with me.  Giving me encouragement but then leaving me hanging.  This was definitely not the man I knew.  The man I knew would never play with my feelings.  Something had changed. 

Now I have to admit that just looking at his picture makes me want to rethink my decision; doubt what I witnessed; and deny what I felt.  BUT ... the ether doesn't lie and Viggo has changed.  Maybe it's HER.  I don't know.  But we all know we haven't seen hide nor hair of him lately and all the movies he's made have been out of Spain or Argentina or Greece.  He does have one on the horizon for sometime next year, but feeling the way I do I am not nearly as excited as I would have been a year ago.  I guess it was meant to happen.  I mean, how long can a girl wait?!  I thought that he'd get over his ridiculous infatuation ... but maybe he's really found true love.  All I know is that what happened between he and I in the ether WAS REAL.  And had it not been for HER he'd be with ME right now.  He knows it.  I know it.  He can lie to himself all he wants. 

Never while we were in the ether did he ever utter a word he did not mean.  Never did he play with my emotions.  But when he learned that I had the power to lure him there, that his visits were not always of his own volition ... well, maybe he felt manipulated.  But you all know I didn't do it on purpose!  I had no idea my wishes were so powerful!  It was a complete surprise to me too!  When I realized that I had been manipulating the ether all along I worried about coming clean.  Would he forgive me?  Would he understand?  And consider this ... was he manifesting into the ether because he WANTED TO or because I WISHED him there?  You do you see my dilemma don't you?  I naturally began to question his love for me.  Either he was coming to the ether because he wished it as well, or it was because I was manipulating it.  It was all so strange.  What is real?  What is false?  What I can tell you is that those were  the most magical moments of my life.  And I think it's safe to say, they were magical for him as well.

The passage of time can kill a love ... even one as magical as ours.  Reality intruded into what was a beautiful dream and now the dream has ended.  I am awake and the ether is no more.  You can stay in Spain Viggo.  You can continue your little love affair with HER.  But remember ... I STILL have the power and I can summon you any time I like.  I'll leave you be for now ... and though it may seem like it's over, it isn't.  Not by a long shot.  Not until I SAY IT IS.  



Sunday, January 18, 2015


Dan and I saw it this weekend and I have to say that it was VERY DEPRESSING.  Bradley Cooper does do an amazing job but the movie itself is a horrifyingly honest depiction of war and what it does to human beings.  In the words of John Lennon, we seriously got to give peace a chance LIKE YESTERDAY. However, I am afraid that that will never happen because there is too much money to be made from war, because the people who decide to go to war NEVER send their loved ones, nor did most of them serve in their country in it's time of need, and lastly, misguided, fundamentalist beliefs that have nothing to do with God and everything to do with narcissistic, dualistic thinking. 

This movie was a major downer.  It depicts the insanity of fighting for an ideal that doesn't exist.  The suffering, death and brutality of human beings who've forgotten that they are human beings and who have lost sight of the original ideal for which they believed in enough to die for. 

I won't give away everything, but the movie is the true story of Navy SEAL sniper Chris Kyle who had 160 hits to is credit and was known as a legend.  A good man destroyed by war and his fight back to his own humanity. 

Like The Passion of the Christ, American Sniper is a great movie that I doubt I could see again.  Too heartbreaking.  On a scale from one to 10, definitely a 10. 

My favorite movie so far is Birdman.  Michael Keaton won both the Golden Globe and the Critic's Choice Award and he was AMAZING.  On a scale of 1 to 10 I give his performance a 55.  In my opinion, a very good flick.  Michael Keaton was nothing short of brilliant and Emma Stone was REALLY good. 

We also saw The Imitation Game.  For some reason, this film didn't grab me.  To be fair I should probably see it again because I was so sleepy that I was fighting to keep my eyes open.  It was the true story of a brilliant guy who develops a machine that can translate messages from the Nazis.  He's an odd character who isn't very likeable, but he also suffered tremendously because of his homosexuality.  It is amazing how far we've come in that regard, still not far enough, but holy moly, being gay in the 1940's was akin to being a serial killer. 

The Theory of Everything is the true story of Stephen and Jane Hawking.  Let me say right now ... Jane Hawking ...  SHE is an amazing woman.  He, of course, is a genius, but what she took on and dealt with is nothing short of miraculous.  Both Eddie Redmayne and Felicity Jones performances were so heartbreakingly true to life that I FELT Jane Hawking's sorrow and regret, as well as her love and courage.  A very good film. 

THE WORST MOVIE I've seen this year is without a doubt INHERENT VICE with Joaquin Phoenix, Josh Brolin, Owen Wilson and Benicio del Toro.  A great cast in a TERRIBLE movie.  DO NOT WASTE YOUR MONEY.  The plot was all over the place, I had no idea what was going on, there were all these different story lines that made no sense and it was WAY WAY TOO LONG.  I actually wanted to leave that is how bad it was and Danny felt the same way.  That is three hours of my life I will never get back.  The trailers made it seem like a really funny movie.  IT WASN'T.  On a scale of one to 10, I give it a zero. 

I haven't seen Boyhood, Still Alice, A Most Violent Year (which I'm DYING to see) and The Grand Budapest Hotel which looks really funny and has won lots of awards. 

Stay tuned for my Oscar Best and Worst.  The Academy Awards are scheduled for February 22 ... the Superbowl of T.V. watching for yours truly. 

Until then ....


Sunday, January 11, 2015


Rosamund Pike - GORGEOUS in white.  I have loved this girl since seeing her in "Barney's Version" with Paul Giamatti.  Super talented and REALLY beautiful in the classic old movie star way.  Beautiful gown, beautiful makeup, beautiful hair, overall look:  BEAUTIFUL.  GRADE:  A+  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!

Naomi Watts.  LOVE HER.  Nominated for her performance in "St. Vincent" in which she plays a Russian prostitute which was hilarious.  Sadly, I've seen her look better.  This funky yellow frock left a lot to be desired.  Grade:  F- 

Amy Adams, ethereal in perwinkle blue.  Very pretty and very simple.  Her makeup was perfection.  Can you believe she's 40 years old???   She doesn't look a day over 24!  Grade:  A+ 

Giuliana Rancic in mauvey/pink - She looked really good for a corpse. 

Zosia Mamet - looking at this dress I could not get the Jetsons theme song out of my head ... Here's George Jetson .... Jane his wife .... Sorry Zosia ... Grade:  F-

Lorde - Very hip, very chic.  Grade:  A

Tina Fey - LOVE!!!!  Sparkly black and white ballerina gown.  Grade:  A+

Amy Pohler - Simple.  Too simple.  Doesn't this look like a robe you'd throw on just to run outside to get the paper and not be naked?  And that elastic at the waist?  Amy ... what the hell were you thinking?  Grade:  D ... for AVERAGE. 

Diane Kruger.  Wow.  She is wearing the same dress my mother wore on Christmas Eve in 1965.  However, this dress is ill fitting, has cheap fabric and I didn't like it.  Grade:  F-

Emily Blunt - PERFECTION IN WHITE!  She is my very favorite actress.  I love her!  Loved the gown, loved the earrings, however her hair could have looked much better.  Grade:  A+ WINNER!

Jessica Chastain - She always looks great but the fabric on this dress was a very odd color.  It looked like liquid copper/brown/black.  Her shoes however, were the bomb.  Make up was gorgeous, hair gorgeous, overall look, gorgeous.  Grade:  A+

Allison Williams in red.  Beautiful dress.  Very feminine and sweet, however, I think her hair would have looked much better in this Veronica Lake type hairstyle if her hair were longer.

Sienna Miller - She is such a gorgeous girl.  I loved LOVED this dress!  It has a sort of 1950's feel to it with the embroidery and bead work.  Love her hair also.  Grade:  A+  WINNER WINNER WINNER!

Ruth Williams of "The Affair" ... what the hell is this ugly schmatta in green and blue double thick polyester looking crap?!  Ruth!  A smile might have helped the overall terrible look of this disaster.  But I guess if I were wearing this I wouldn't be smiling either.  Grade:  DOUBLE F MINUS because gurl, this is UGLEEEEEEE! 

Julianne Moore - LOVED it.  Beautiful silver gown with feathers at the bottom.  I couldn't get the photo any larger, but I loved this look and her body is killer.  Grade:  A+

Julianna Margulies - to me she ALWAYS LOOKS THE SAME.  Very well groomed, very skin tight SIMPLE dress with the appropriate jewelry.  Black bag, black pumps.  Very mediocre.   And p.s. that fabric looks like a bordello's wall covering.  Grade:  "Eh."

Kate Beckinsale.  This woman ALWAYS looks INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL.  She WOWS every single time I have ever seen her on the Red Carpet.  Love the shade of this gown, a lovely taupey/beige with a beautifully sparkly bodice.  Grade:  A+  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!

Keira Knightly.  I LOVE Kiera Knightly and I know she's pregnant and all but Keira, you look like a haus frau.  Though she is wearing Chanel, it was very frumpy.  What's with that big old collar?  It looks like a giant bib and what's with the butterflies and hummingbirds????  And that butterfly bracelet?  The whole ensemble is a big mess.  Sorry Keira.  Though I love you, I am giving you a bad grade because I KNOW you can do better.  Grade:  D-

Jennifer Lopez - What can I say?  The bitch looked awesome.  Grade:  A (I REFUSE to put a plus sign after that A!)  

Clair Danes - GOOD GOD.  IF the point was to look like a 45 year old woman in the 19th century, then she succeeded.  Grade:  DOUBLE F-

Class Couple - George Clooney and Amal - She in black with white gloves - tres chic.  He - gorgeous in a tux.  Grade:  A+++  WINNERS WINNERS WINNERS!

Emma Stone - It was a jumpsuit (or romper as everyone is saying today)
I didn't like it.  She usually looks really great but this was just mediocre.  She needed a tan, her hair was blah, makeup wasn't very good .... maybe it just wasn't her night.  Also, she came with her brother (who seriously needs a reverse perm and needs to stop chewing gum in public) Grade:  C-

Reese Witherspoon - gorgeous in silver.  AMAZING!  Very Carole Lombard - A+

Kate Hudson aka The Princess of Hollywood.  Kate bugs me.  Her ears stick out and she's always in transition ... is she married? Engaged?  Dating? Pregnant?  Her eyebrows are too dark and she should really get those ears pinned back.  Grade:  B

Jennifer Aniston - Black.  Simple.  Hair should have been worn down.  She always looks really good.  Simple, elegant.  Grade:  A.  

Salma Hayek - Almost ALWAYS nails it but this look is a big fat miss.  The hair, either the flower should stay or the earrings should go ... both are too much.  Don't like the belt.  Don't like the bracelet.  Don't like the bag.  Salma - as much as it pains me .... Grade:  D-

Leslie Mann - adorable in yellow BUT NOT WITH A DARK FOREST GREEN bag and earrings.  Grade D- for bad choice in jewelry. 

Felicity Huffman - WOW!  That's all .... WOW.  Grade:  A+

That's it.  Until next year .... SMOOCHES!
Feel free to add or comment on anyone I forgot.

Sunday, January 4, 2015


SO ... for some freaking bizarre reason I have a ton of flies in my house.  I have no idea where they came from.  Either a hidden nest of larvae has just hatched in my condo or I there's a poltergeist in my house. 

After returning home from shopping Danny and I were greeted by five flies swarming all over my kitchen.  I HATE FLIES!  So Dan takes a dish towel and begins swatting at them like a man possessed and of course misses all of them.  He then takes a bottle of Windex and begins spritzing them like a crazy man. 


Dan:  "I'm killing the flies."


Dan:  "I know!  It stuns them.  They get all absorbed and drunk and then fall to their deaths."

Me:  "Oh my God."

(Just then he spritzed another fly)

Dan:  "LOOK!  LOOK!  SEE!  He fell from the ceiling!"

He then picks up the fly in a paper napkin and proudly shows me the dead fly.  


Dan:  "I don't care if I mash him I don't want him in here."


After killing all the flies he takes off for the gym ... leaving me to clean up Windex residue from the floor, the kitchen cabinets, the ceiling and the counter tops.  THANK YOU.

ON TO 2015 ...
This year I am going to be VERY GOOD TO MYSELF.  I will buy clothes when I want to.  I will get facials when I want to.  I will buy boots and stuff that I normally would talk myself out of.  I will read spiritual books that feed my soul and help me to be a centered, kinder person who also is VERY GOOD TO MYSELF.  I will not indulge in negativity or toxic people.  I will say NO to myself whenever my thoughts wander toward unpleasant people and/or memories.  I will exercise ... not like a maniac so I can look 20, but like a person who loves themselves so I can be limber and strong and have good balance as I get older.  I will take time to meditate/contemplate/pray and be still.  This time I REALLY MEAN IT.  I will make a regular practice of being still.  A REGULAR PRACTICE.  This takes discipline.  Life always gets in the way of our finding a moment to be still.  We have to do it.  I have to do it. 

I will write more.  The more you do something the better you get at it.  It's science.  So I will write more.  It is the only thing I do for myself in which time seems to stand still.  To be fully engaged in something you love feeds you and serves you.  I like that feeling. 

That's pretty much it for me.  Oprah believes in keeping a gratitude journal.  Every day you're supposed to write something for which you are grateful.  That is a good idea.  I think I will do that too.  There is so much to be grateful for.  I don't know about you, but I can find plenty of things to worry about and fear.  I'd rather be at peace and grateful than scared and worried.  This, also takes discipline.  So I will try.  It is a proven fact that what you tell yourself your mind believes.  So tell yourself positive, beautiful things and your mind will believe what you tell it and you will become positive and grateful. 

I hope that 2015 brings all of you love and health, happiness and laughter, good times with family and good friends, beauty and peace.  It's a new year and anything is possible. 

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
 - John 14:27

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE ... And thank you for visiting my crazy little blog and taking the time to leave comments.  



Thursday, December 18, 2014


Dan and I were channel surfing the other night when a program on Fox looked interesting ... 

Airs Saturday and Sunday at 10PM ET on Fox News Channel
Stossel offers some new ideas on parenting to help your kids GROW UP!

FREE-RANGE KIDS:  Lenore Skenazy was called "America's Worst Mom" because she let her 9-year-old ride the subway alone. She says kids benefit from less supervision and more independence. Critics say "free range" parenting is irresponsible and dangerous. They could get abducted by a stranger! They could, but why so much fear now when abductions are extremely rare, and crime is at a 50 year low?


Back in the Dark Ages when I was a little girl my mother would send my brother and I (ages 6 and 4) to the liquor store to buy milk for her BY OURSELVES.  And we had to cross a big old boulevard to get there.  We were given money, told not to talk to strangers and wait for the man to give you the change and off we went totally oblivious to kidnappers and murderers.  Was it wise?  Personally, I couldn't tell you, but we're both still here and basically sane. 

WUSSIFICATION: Trophies used to be an award for winning. Now, kids get a trophy just for showing up. Does this turn them into wimps? Vice co-founder Gavin McInnes says yes, because kids "learning to lose, learning to fail" is "what childhood is all about." Parenting blogger Jenn-Anne Gledhill says, "you call it wussification, I'm going to go ahead and call it a spiritual awakening."

GOD ALMIGHTY WE'VE ABSOLUTELY WUSSIFIED OUR KIDS TODAY and Jenn-Anne Gledhill is a moron.  What she calls spiritual awakening I call wussification.  If everyone wins then what makes winning special?  If everyone wins a trophy there's no real meaning in that.  No victory.  No real success.  This not how the world works.  Everyone is NOT a winner.  Some people get D's on their report cards, some people get fired from their jobs, and other people have to take a lot of crap at work to collect their paycheck.  IT'S CALLED LIFE PEOPLE and sometimes people are big old losers.  Kids need to learn how to lose and realize they are not the center of the fucken Universe.  Some people do things better than others.  The sooner you learn that the better off you'll be.  No one claps for me when I arrive at work in the morning like I'm Oprah Winfrey.  WAH WAH WAH.   

THE TIGER-MOM:  Western parents were shocked by Amy Chua's strict Chinese parenting methods: her daughters were forced to practice piano several hours every day; they couldn't have sleepovers or watch TV. Chua even called her own daughter "garbage" once. Is it too extreme? What do Chua's daughters say, now that they're older? We asked them if they even like their mom.

Mrs. Chua needs a boot up her ass.  Her children are not HER.  They are individuals.  They have their own personalities and character traits.  I think if I'd had a tiger mother like her I'd have grown up to be a serial killer.  And the first person I'd kill would be her. 

GENDER NEUTRAL KIDS: Some parents say kids should choose if they want to be a boy or a girl.  Dr. Leonard Sax says it's a grave mistake "to put our heads in the sand and pretend that gender doesn't matter."

Dr. Leonard Sax is an asshole.  Little boys like to play with trucks and little girls like to play with dolls.  IT'S SCIENCE.   Unless you're blind you will be able to figure if your kid is gay or straight or transgender.  JEEZ.

DELAYED GRATIFICATION: Some psychologists say success on the famous marshmallow tests (can the child delay eating one, to get two treats 15 minutes later?) is the biggest predictor of success in kids' lives. Kids who can delay gratification do much better in life, get better grades in school, make more money, and are happier than those who can't.

Well that explains it.  You have your successful children who can wait to eat a marshmallow and then you have your unsuccessful children who can't.  Personally, if your kid can wait to eat a marshmallow that is sitting right in front of him then I'm sorry to tell you but your kid is weird.  Any NORMAL self-respecting kid is going to shove that marshmallow in his face the second you leave the room.  THAT'S NORMAL.  HE'S A KID.  So your ridiculous little test sucks.   

Until next time ...

Sunday, December 14, 2014


Last night the bus was late … AGAIN.  The driver has been late for the last three weeks.  The bus is supposed to pick us up at 5:40 pm and he's been picking us up at 6 pm.  THEN he had the audacity to NOT GET ON THE FREEWAY and took surface streets ALL.  THE.  WAY.  HOME.  If I wanted to do that I’d have driven my own ass to work!  But that was not all … he was freaking whistling the entire way home.  I thought I was gonna have a coronary.  I was this close to screaming at him to PUT A SOCK IN IT!!  You all know how I hate people to freaking whistle in public.  Don’t whistle at work, at the store, on the street OR WHEN YOU’RE DRIVING A FUCKING BUS. 

Thank God my Ipod had power so I was able to listen to some decent tunes until the ride was over.  Once the bus ride from hell was over I still had to do some Xmas shopping.  Drove to the mall, bought some presents and some new work out clothes (don’t judge me) and then I drove home to no meal and a foochie bed that was not made to my standards – which I admit are quite high.  I require a CRISP bed dammit and my bed was not CRISP.  It was rather wilted and wrinkly and the sheets were all soft.  UGH. 

After dumping all my packages, all I wanted to do was take a shower and get into bed (BUT ONLY AFTER I UNMADE IT, AND REMADE IT CRISP) and RELAX which is something I haven’t done in too long because I’m constantly running around doing shit like laundry and picking up dinner.  The hubs was LYING on the couch because he thinks it’s a bed and I just wasn’t in the mood to deal with feet in my lap and another round of “Wives with Knives.” 

So I took my deliciously hot shower, dried my hair, got into my CRISP bed with my computer in my lap and watched old videos of Chicago performing “Beginnings,” “Call on Me” and “Color My World” over and over and over.  These days I find that I am much more nostalgic than ever and I’m pretty damn nostaligic.  I LITERALLY traveled back to 1973 with just my mind … if I could have any super power in the world I’d have the power to travel through time.  Who wouldn’t?  You could undo all the shit you had to go through when you were young and dumb ... like I wouldn't dance with ugly guys, I'd break up with all the guys who broke up with me first, I' tell all my asshole teachers they were assholes.  And I'd never EVER take Algebra.

I also caught Oprah’s “Where Are They Now” … Oprah was interviewing Bo Derek.  Oprah asked her if she’d ever had her heart broken.  You know what that bitch said?  She said NO.  She has never had her heart broken.  And it got me to thinking … do you know who I’d be today if I’d never gotten my heart broken?  Only the most fucking nice person you ever met in your life.  How does one go through life without ever getting their fucken heart broken?!  That is not normal.  Not even once?  Lucky bitch.  That’s where confidence comes from.  From being a “10” AND NEVER GETTING YOUR FUCKING HEART BROKEN.



Friday, December 5, 2014


SO ... Danny has been home for the last six weeks.  He has Plantar Fasciitis and scar tissue on his Achilles which is very painful and finally went to the doctor.  The doctor said in order to stave of surgery, he wanted him to stay off of it completely.  He was given a Cortisone shot in the foot and then the doctor put it in a cast for two weeks.  That was removed then replaced with a soft cast.  That was removed and now he has been going to physical therapy.  

In the last six weeks he has not made the bed ONCE.  If he goes to the market it is ONLY to get EXACTLY what he needs to make for dinner God forbid he has to lug more than one grocery bag home and put shit away.  Therefore, we have NO FOOD in the house.  No snacks, no nuts, no ice cream, no bread, no soup, no fruit, no nothing.  Every day when I come home from work I say “what did you have for lunch”  His answer usually goes something like this … “oh, I had some crumbs from the Cheerios box and an orange.”  OK I’m exaggerating but it’s not far from the truth.  I’m like “SHIT Dan!  Can you not drive yourself to the store or McDonalds and EAT A MEAL?!”  Then I realize how stupid of me.  That would require movement. 

For this reason and this reason alone I have been spending tons of money on breakfast, lunch and dinner.  And by the way, I still pick up dinner on my way home EVERY NIGHT from a long and grueling day when he could easily get it and have it home by the time I arrive at 7:00 pm.  YES.  7:00 PM.  When it is already DARK and I’m tired.  PLUS I started Xmas shopping.  I spent an hour and a half at the mall last night and I don’t think I have to tell you how exhausting it is to lug around a bunch of packages and a 10 lb. purse when you’re hot and sweaty.  No fun. 

This weekend is my firm Xmas party.  I told him YESTERDAY to make sure his suit is clean and he has a shirt that doesn’t look like he slept in it.  He assured me he did.  I KNOW he did not.  I hope I do not have to attend my office Christmas party with a ragamuffin.

NEXT ...

So I was watching “True Tori” and I swear to God this girl reminds me of myself when I was young.  Very codependent and a control freak.  I feel so sorry for her because she really suffers emotionally and a lot of it is needless.  She and her husband are in therapy but at times it seems to make things worse.  My therapy WORKED.  But I was single and not married so all I had to deal with was myself.  I’m still a control freak but only when it comes to my house.  I like a tidy house and a crisp bed.  I cannot stand coming home to an unmade bed.  ICK.  I have mismatching lamps and I need a sofa.  You have been reading this  for the last six years and no, I STILL DO NOT HAVE A NEW SOFA because Mr. Tightwad has convinced me that we should just wait until we retire.  (I retire in 10 years)  I’M AN IDIOT.  I know it.    

Anyway, you all know that Tori Spelling met her husband when they made a T.V. movie together and they were BOTH MARRIED to other people at the time.  You might be saying "payback's a bitch" and all that, and that is exactly what I would say, but I can't help it ... I feel sorry for her.  She has no relationship with her mother.  It's very stilted.  Her father was a freaking gazillionaire and left her hardly anything.  I think that is especially cruel.  To raise your children in the lap of luxury and then leave them with nothing????  Way harsh.  She is so miserable.  She loves her husband but he was unfaithful, she has four kids and doesn't want to break up her family, she feels like she is the only person who can do anything for them the RIGHT WAY.  She puts so much pressure on herself.  It very sad to me.  Looking at it from the outside you can see how they totally mis-communicate.   

I was telling Danny how I felt bad for her and he was all "look at the house they live in ... they probably get six figures for every episode they film.  Don't feel sorry for her ... feel sorry for US!"  LOL.  He's probably right.  But I still feel bad for her.    Every time she has a confrontational situation arise she gets sick or gets a Migraine.  That is no way to go through life.  Especially if you have four little kids.  She just seems so tormented.   

That's my two cents.  Feel free to tell me yours ...

Smooches Darlings!